Jumping to my feet and exclaiming "I'm ok" to my horrified audience, one of them pointed and I looked down to discover a rib poking out of my chest as a red stain slowly spread outwards ruining my Return of the Jedi t-shirt.I also discovered that the dog had, minutes before my approach, defecated in my landing spot.Approximately half way over the creek and realising my trajectory was not going to make the distance, I attempted to pull the bike upwards, a midair bunny hop if you will, resulting in the handlebars separating from the frame.Somehow, while my bike dropped into the creek, my body managed to make it to the far bank and roll several times before coming to a halt.Perhaps you could incorporate a sign similar to the 'You must be this tall to ride' kind displayed at carnivals, but amend it to 'You must be this cool to enter' with a big red arrow pointing to photos of Fatty, Tattooey and Fuzzy. While the average male height of 5"9 statistically means anything under is considered short, my question was without diminutive intention.I'm sure there are many advantages to being so small. Thirty minutes of watching instructional Youtube videos have to count for something.Unfortunately, these discoveries were made half way up a ski-lift while dressed in jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt and soaking wet rental boots in minus twelve degree weather.Reaching the summit and finding myself unable to feel my extremities or bend back into a standing position, I simply rolled off the lift chair and slid down the embankment on my side before coming to a stop helped by a small group of children.
Having also seen episodes of Dukes of Hazzard where they jump bridges and the nose of the General Lee crumples a bit, I strategically placed a pile of leaves on the estimated landing point to soften the impact.From: [email protected]: Thursday 20 January 2011 4.18pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Advertisement You bought gloves and ruined them and then you want to exchange them for a diffent pair? Are you going to pay for the extra staff I had to put on to take all the phone calls?I would actually be more surprised if the local constabulary hasn't got me on speed dial by now.Target carries an excellent range of boys clothing at competitive prices and a lower centre of gravity should, once helped up onto the ski-lift, allow you to snowboardsurf with greater stability. One of them showed a squirrel water-skiing which is pretty much the same thing so how hard can it be?I am at least twice as intelligent as a squirrel and I once covered almost the entire distance of a slip'n'slide in a standing position so the basic skill set is there.Assuming the gloves would be waterproof for use in the snow (possibly due to being told "these are waterproof gloves for use in the snow") I was surprised to find they became soaked within seconds and bled black ink down my sleeves and all over the front of my jacket. If I was working that day I would have told you to fuck off too.