If I felt like I was in pain and tired all the time as she is, I'd be much worse and probably a complete baby.She seems to grin and bear it, which is one of the most amazing things about her to me. Imagine that inside you've got this person who wants to take on the world, but they can't.Roll with the punches here, because she's going to feel guilty and you don't need to make it worse by being impatient or upset.If you've ever been in a relationship, you know that it's about who you're with, not what you're doing.Always offer to help her, and be understanding when she says no.
She is a huge inspiration to me constantly, because she doesn't take her disease lying down (no pun intended). "Take care of you, so that you can take care of me, and I'll take care of me so that I can take care of you." You need to eat well and work to be strong.
Where most people would give in, lupies seem to be highly resilient and strong.
If she has dealt with this disease by herself for years, prepare to see someone who is highly independent.
If you haven't been mature in your past relationships, then a relationship with someone who has lupus may not be for you. Every person with lupus experiences the disease differently, so do not expect my list to be definitive.
Here goes: Expect that plans can be cancelled at any moment. Remember that for as excited as you are about your plans, she is just as excited, maybe even more.
As an example, when things get bad enough to cancel plans with my lupie, she typically needs rest, as in sleep, but sometimes she may just need to sit still and do something small.