The kind of sexual life you have - and its conflicts - are embedded in the overall relationship you learn and how you "practice" it with your partner.I've described some of these connections in my previous posts on our adolescent model of love, the soul mate, and the positive power of "indifference." Most relationships limit the capacity for "Making Love." sex? " With gleaming eyes, Ken was telling me about his latest sexual encounter.Maybe that's the problem - that Tom's just not a good lover." Julie and her husband had descended into what I call a "functional relationship." They didn't have sex much anymore, and when they did it was pretty uninspired.They remained committed to each other, though, and wanted to improve their sex life.
He saw himself as a great lover and, in fact, had become very proficient in Tantric sexual practices.He was a 44 year-old trust fund guy who lived with his mother and had never married.He entered therapy because he wanted to learn why he hadn't been able to form a lasting relationship.There's a place for this kind of sex, but it's also the most primitive, least evolved form of sex.It reflects the purely animal part of being human -- our physiological needs and impulses. From a human standpoint, though, it's mostly void of relationship beyond the physical connection; a form of playing through using each other's bodies.The bad part is that all the feelings, conflicts, non-mutual behavior, hiding out and manipulation characteristic of the adolescent model of love can seep into your sex life like a growing virus.