Our long, intense discussions about his childhood and why he felt so sad and abandoned.It didn’t occur to me that in fact, things were so one sided and we never talked about my own life or feelings. It was so much easier for him to blame his dad for his sadness, or make me responsible for his happiness, than it was to face up to why he found victimhood so comfortable. I felt embarrassed by his constant re-hashing of the past, and his obsession with having ‘missed out’ on a proper family."Reinforce as much as possible that you love and support him," says Van Kirk.
"Let him vent about work situations," says Van Kirk.Although an insecure guy might feel what Van Kirk calls “a lack of validation by you choosing not to spend 100 percent of your time with him,” that shouldn’t turn into him trying to monopolize your life.“Also, if his lack of self-esteem truly seems to be interfering with his ability to cope day to day, therapy is probably in order," says Van Kirk.Every guy feels a little unsure of himself sometimes (unless he’s a raging egomaniac, that is).Just like women, dudes might rely on a little emotional pick-me-up from their partners.Steve, 42, had been raised by a single mother, after his dad left when he was just three.