And your expectations are going to be very different too.“Some people go back into the dating game with expectations of what it was like in their past,” explains Amanda.“But dating looks different now – it feels different and there’s a different culture around it. ” Amanda says the key to adjusting your dating expectations is to do your research. “For people who have never done online dating, or for people who might be a little bit older, it can be really daunting. If the online world is too scary, then there are different Meetups and community experiences you can do.” “I always suggest ‘dating yourself’.Be mindful that if you are dating someone, they might also be dating other people. If you always wanted to be a runner or take up a movie course, sign up and meet people with similar interests. It will help you feel more confident, more social and allow you to meet you people with similar interests.If that means getting a babysitter for a couple of hours, or asking a family member to look after the kids, or arranging a date when your partner has the kids, then do that.You can also meet up for a coffee while the kids are in school.Determining your sense of self, who you are now and who you want to be can all contribute and help in the journey to meeting someone.
But all of these feelings are completely normal, says Amanda.“It’s common for people to feel nervous,” she explains.“When you’ve gone from being ‘two’ to ‘one’ and you haven’t been alone for a very long time, it’s difficult to reformulate that sense of self and do things on your own – or with a stranger. ” Amanda says there’s also a bit of grief that comes with getting back on the dating cycle as well.It’s pretty common to be going through a divorce and you should feel ok about mentioning this.But remember, whatever information you share can’t be taken back.“Sometimes transitioning from breakups and back on the dating scene can be difficult,” says Amanda.