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I have gotten quite a number of questions …really good questions about this and so I have decided to address it a bit so…lets walk around the issue together. People actually feel they are now able to take a bit more control of their dating lives by having the plethora of options to pick from.

It allows you to put that stuff out there without feeling awkward saying it in person.

allows existing users to rate prospective users before they are allowed to join, thus ensuring the site remains open only to the "aesthetically blessed," Sky News reports.

reports that a database containing information (including sexual preference, height and weight, income, and contact details, among other things) on 1.1 million users, plus 15 million private messages between users, was breached, and that data is now for sale.

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For .95 a month you can also filter out people with low attractiveness ratings based on a five-star scoring system determined by OKCupid’s own algorithms.

So if you are going to use it, keep these in mind: That is IF you are able to overcome or work past the bad and ugly part.

The problem grows exponentially though when you meet online and also proceed to date mostly online.

a) It can make you feel you are solving “the ONE” problem you’ve had with finding “the one” (the problem of OPTIONS) when in actuality there is still a bigger and worse problem that online dating cannot fix: The problem of YOUb) It can make you find temporary relief from the problem of having to try so hard and be rejected (since you connect with people with clicks and swipes) HOWEVER, since online dating cannot fix the problem of YOU and nor can it fix the problem of the “quality” of people (cos more options doesn’t mean better quality), it is still relatively easy (if not more likely) to find yourself dealing with even deeper feelings of rejection than you faced offline. a few clicks and swipes…a few adjustments to your profile …a few adjustments to the algorithm and boom…you might be connected in seconds.

The options are much larger and the emotional investment/energy needed to make a connection is significantly lower, BUT if things don’t go right, the frustration is higher and the rejection is worse when all that is needed is for someone to click or swipe to connect with you and they don’t even do that. b) —This is so important—Dating apps and sites subliminally not only make you feel that the grass is greener on the other side, but that it is so easy to get there.

Your job is to QUICKLY determine if what is in their profile, looks like the reality of their lives.

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